Divorce is extremely prevalent, as well as costly and emotionally taxing. Even among those who oppose divorce, unhappy marriages abound. Marriage may also be fantastic, but given these realities, it’s vital to take the time to stop and thoroughly ask these questions to the one you’re planning to marry. In our previous blog, we told you about the 9 things to discuss before marriage. Here is the second version of that blog where we are going to tell you some of the most crucial and eye-opening questions to ask before marriage.
Is this the correct time for us to get married?
This might be a daunting question to ask before marriage, especially if you and your partner did not establish a relationship timetable before becoming engaged. Is there any reason to put off getting married for a little longer? For example, maybe you haven’t been together that long, or maybe you’re still working through some challenges, or maybe it’ll be difficult to think about wedding preparations for the next year due to your employment. Remember, what’s the rush if you both know you’re going to spend eternity together anyway?
What does an “ideal marriage” look like to you?
When it comes to marriage, we can discuss each other’s dreams or desires.
Everyone who is planning to marry has a tale or a narrative in their brain about what that would entail for them. This question is significant because it will provide you with insight into the aspects of marriage that are most important to your partner. Then you may compare “notes” about what an ideal marriage means to both of you.
Consider the following:
- What does the term “marriage” imply to you?
- Why do you want to marry?
- What do you think will happen to our relationship once we are married?
- What does being a good husband, wife, or spouse implicate?
How do you deal with stress, frustration, and disappointment?
This question focuses on your partner’s ability to self-soothe and copes effectively. “When things happen in life, we either deal with them positively or negatively. It’s useful to know how your partner handles things when life throws him or her a curveball.
Furthermore, when you’re stressed, sad, angry, or dealing with other difficult emotions, we recommend that you ask each other what you need. India’s first-ever matchmaking show will give you a chance to know a person completely before getting married!
People experience what is known as meta-emotions. Meta-emotion is how we feel about our feelings. Many couples suffer from a meta-emotion mismatch. This indicates that one person believes that emotions are good, healthy, and essential to share, whilst the other believes that they are harmful and should not be addressed. The first individual may prefer to study and process, whereas the second is more prone to leap to solutions. It can make a huge difference if you learn how your spouse prefers to be responded to in terms of their emotions.
How should we deal with conflict?
You should have a good idea of how you will handle disagreements as a couple by the time you are married. Nonetheless, we encourage inquiring explicitly about how you want to resolve conflicts when you are married.
If we change our thoughts on something extremely important in our lives, how should we communicate about it? People’s views on children, money and career ambitions shift all the time. What would you do if anything like this occurred to you?
Simply asking this question exposes the fact that you will change your mind about things and that this is normal. Normalizing change is beneficial in the long term since it leads to more open and truthful communication.
How much alone time do you need?
Everyone requires alone time, but some require more than others. If you are unaware that your spouse needs alone time, you may believe that they are distant, angry, or resentful when they seek space. Establishing early on that you both require alone time—and how it shows itself—can not only enrich your relationship but will also prevent future uncertainty.
What’s your biggest fear?
It’s not an easy question to ask before marriage, but it can help you get to the bottom of what makes someone tick. Marriage is about comprehension—and not just comprehension of your hopes, dreams, and ambitions. It’s also about comprehending fears, regrets, and struggles, particularly those related to marriage. Make sure you’re asking the tough questions, and your marriage will be much more understanding.
Many people grew up in households where marriage was not regarded positively. Be ready to have open and frank discussions about it. Nurture and consider those fears, and work together to address them.
What are some boundaries you’d like to establish with in-laws and extended family?
Both sides’ in-laws play a crucial role, especially in Indian families. As a result, you’re certain to have questions concerning this subject. From determining whether he considers your parents to be his to establishing boundaries with both sets of parents. If you enter a joint family, consider how he intends to make decisions about you two, how he intends to make time for you despite the fact that the entire family will be living under the same roof, and so on. Inquire and be open to learning what he expects of you, and vice versa.
Do you mind if I make more money than you?
Whatever your current situation is, life is unpredictable. As a result, it is ideal to gain understanding by asking such hypothetical inquiries that may eventually become a reality. Nothing is more important than a supportive and encouraging husband. It is a blessing to have a partner who is your biggest cheerleader in your career or in life in general.
How do you want to raise your kids?
If you want to have children, you should also discuss how you want to raise them once you have them.
Consider the following:
- Will you be strict or laid-back parents?
- How would you raise your children?
- Will one of you take time off from work to look after the children when they are young?
What does being married mean to you?
When it comes to marriage, it is critical to understand your partner’s views. This inquiry will allow you to dig into his belief system on the marriage constitution. Most of the time, we take up these views as we see our parents’ marriage. Recognize what and who they look up to as a relationship objective. This question can also help you determine whether he is mentally prepared to take on responsibilities or if he is simply following peer pressure. Keep in mind that marriage does not always mean the same thing to everyone, so coming to an agreement may be highly advantageous.
For a Happy Marriage ..
Marriage is a significant step that must be taken after careful consideration of several factors. Although you may admire the individual and believe he/she is ‘THE ONE,’ there are several issues that must be addressed. Asking the proper questions before marriage, which is often overlooked, will help you acquire perspective on what to expect from your marital life. These aren’t the most general questions to ask before marriage on the first encounter; rather, they are embarrassing ones that you avoid answering. These awkward but necessary questions will provide you with a thorough understanding of your partner’s beliefs and may save you both heartache in the future.